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Once the leaves change color, the next thing you know it’s time to embrace the holiday spirit. We all aspire to be generous and festive, colorful and grateful. But after all the parties, the in-laws, the gifts and the traffic, sometimes all we can hope for is a little well-deserved sanity. It helps to slow down and be on our best behavior, because everybody else is feeling the pressure, too. To help alleviate the stress that comes with this time of year, here are some ideas for a smooth and stylish holiday season.
Illustration by Hilbrand Bos
Dress the Part
Now, if you’re on the party circuit, as a guest or host, you’ll want to communicate goodwill toward all. Whether it’s an office party (resist any karaoke temptation) or a visit with the in-laws (no politics, please), a colorful scarf is the easiest way to warm up a room. Open your heart to Belgian shoes and opera pumps — now’s the season to adorn your feet. If there’s a snowstorm and you have to wear L.L. Bean boots to the party and switch into velvet slippers upon arrival, that’s alright — do whatever it takes!
Men who have tartan trousers, this is your time to shine. While I’m not that fearless, I always appreciate these when they make an appearance. The rest of us can be happy with a burgundy or deep green velvet sport coat — that’s the best sort of celebratory dressing, which inspires good cheer and improves the mood of any room. But please draw the line if you’re considering a Christmas sweater, which should be abandoned once you’ve graduated from the first grade.
Embrace Goodwill and Gatherings
Now, instituting a holiday party can feel daunting — and it is daunting. You’re competing with travel, events, shopping and maybe even a parade. Keep calm and keep it simple but festive. Celebrate the season and eliminate the pressure by opting for an early-evening cocktail party over the weekend. Tell your friends that it’ll be a simple gathering and that you just want to see them, no gifts necessary.
Compose one festive drink and one simple dish. I make eggnog, with a little brandy and grated nutmeg — it’s easier than you think and shockingly good. I always serve it in small glasses; otherwise guests may take a nap on my couch. If you have a fireplace, then get a stack of wood and keep that thing going. Turn down the lights and add some candles. Before the party, announce the ending time. This way, your guests will show up promptly and they can appropriately plan out the rest of their evening. And after all the fun, you can take a well-deserved breather.
Give Gifts with a Light Touch
The eternal question: What to give a loved one? I like to select something indulgent that can be consumed, so you don’t have to worry about selecting sizes or creating clutter. Nobody has ever turned down a bottle of Champagne (a magnum is even more welcome), a box of La Maison du Chocolat truffles, caviar from Petrossian, a good Darjeeling tea, tasty delicacies from Russ & Daughters, a tin of French butter cookies or an Italian panettone. For something more permanent: a first-edition tome from a favorite author or a fancier version of something your beloved uses every day but is too sensible to buy for themselves. This could be a fountain pen, an elegant bottle opener or a cutting board made with exotic Japanese wood so special that they use it as a serving tray.
Remember the Art of Receiving
In a world that moves so fast, the art of the handwritten thank-you note should not be undermined. When writing, please use ink (like socks, ink should not be black unless you are in mourning) and remember to specifically mention the gift you received. Your stationery should be so nice that you’re almost reluctant to use it. Smythson offers lovely cards, as does Cartier. And if you pass one of those sweet stationery shops in Paris or Venice, then please go in. A single set of stationery doesn’t define you; you can have more than one — you should have more than one! And while you’re there, you can create a set for a loved one, which makes a terrific gift.
Start a Tradition
A celebration has more meaning when it’s repeated over time. I still remember what we were served at the annual holiday parties of my childhood. In our house, on Christmas Eve, my dad makes a cheese soufflé, one of his rare forays into the kitchen (though he’s closely aided by my mom, who’s more comfortable behind the burners). He dons purple velvet slippers that I used to think were a little too much. These days, this easygoing and elegant meal (as long as the soufflé rises!), accompanied by a good bottle of wine, is something I look forward to each and every year.
A Minnesotan turned New Yorker, David Coggins is the author of the New York Times bestseller Men and Style and writes a column for Artful Living.
